QUESTION: Can I Kiss A Girl If I Am Not Married To Her Yet?

ANSWER: I’m answering your question assuming you are a Christian. In some cultures kissing is a common form of greeting among friends and family members, but your question concerns kissing that is altogether different. It is called romantic kissing. Ephesians 5:3 gives us the standard for the manner in which we should behave when we are courting: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because they are improper for God’s holy people.” Thus all sexual activity outside of marriage is sin, and all romantically oriented physical activity is sexual activity. This includes premarital kissing.

Some people may say that there is no harm in ‘just kissing’. However, God’s design of sex doesn’t merely include the act of sexual intercourse. It’s also everything that leads up to that act . It’s called foreplay, and it’s a fundamental part of God’s design for sex. This illustration from a counsellor makes it clear: “Sexual activity is like a down-hill on-ramp to a highway. It’s one way. You gather momentum the second you enter it, and according to the Great Engineer’s design of the highway system, there’s only one reason to get on it.”

The moment two people begin kissing or touching each other in a sexual way, both the male and female body begin ‘preparing’ for sex. God has designed us that way, and when we begin any sort of sexual activity, our bodies know exactly what’s going on — even if our self-deluding minds deny it.

Kissing will only make you want to do more than kiss. It will make you want to indulge in sin. Why put someone you claim to care about at spiritual risk? Instead wait till you are married. God has instituted sex within marriage not just for procreation but also for pleasure and intimacy. In 1 Corinthians 7:3 and following, Paul says once we are married, our bodies literally belong to our spouse; he also instructs spouses to meet one another’s sexual needs and to be together regularly so as to protect ourselves from falling into ungodly lust and extramarital sexual activity. So, wait till you are married.

How does this Bible passage speak to you? Please share your thoughts below!


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