QUESTION: I am in the process of getting a divorce to an unfaithful husband of 20 years. I’m having trouble understanding why God would let this happen. Am I to be alone the rest of my life? I would like some scripture that would be any help.

ANSWER: First of all, I surely sympathize with you in your present circumstances. To have an unfaithful spouse is one of the greatest trials one could go through, for marriage was meant to make the man and woman one, as we see in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” The Lord Yahushua cited this very scripture in Matthew 19:5 and then He went on to say, in verse 6, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh, What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” God meant for this blessed union to be permanent, with only death severing this sacred bond. But the Lord Yahushua did go on to give a valid ground for divorce in verse 9, “And I say unto you, Whosover shall put away his wife, except it for fornication. And shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” Your husband’s infidelity is indeed grounds for divorce, though even in a case of adultery forgiveness may come in and bring about reconciliation.

Why did God allow this to happen? We know that as soon as sin entered into the world through Adam the world has been filled with heartache and sorrow because of man wanting to have his own way. Isaiah solemnly declared in Isaiah 53:6, “All we like sheep have gone astray: we have turned everyone to his own way…” Because of sin men (and women) are basically selfish; they want “their own way” and often this leads to hurting others in the process. God is allowing men to exercise their free will and to have their own way, though the time is coming when all shall give an account to God for every sin they’ve committed. And yet God still loves them and has provided a way for them to be forgiven, as we see in the latter half of verse 6, “…d the Lord hath laid upon Him the iniquity of us all.” Christ went to the cross to be a sacrifice for our sins, so we could experience His grace in forgiveness and be made a new creation in Christ. We can surely pray that your husband will come to know the Savior of sinners and experience the forgiveness He offers and the new life one can have in Christ.

You asked “Am I to be alone the rest of my life?” There is indeed instruction from the Word of God for a believer that has gone through a divorce and whether or not they should remain alone. Paul addresses this issue in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and in this chapter he presents two options: 1) Remain alone; or 2) Get married. Paul himself was not married at this point and he states, more than once, that it would be better to be like him. He states in verse 8, “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.” He gives one reason to stay single in verse 26, “I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.” Paul knew that there were many trials in the world for a Christian, trials that are hard enough to bear alone without the added responsibility of watching a spouse suffer. Another reason is given in verses 32-33, “But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.” Paul knew, because he was unmarried, that he could serve the Lord without distraction. But one who is married must care for their spouse in temporal things, which means devoting time to them that could be spent in service for the Lord.

Paul ended the chapter by informing a woman who was no longer married that “she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” If one felt they could not remain alone, they had perfect freedom to marry, but notice the condition Paul gives, “…only in the Lord.” I believe this has two meanings, the first being one MUST marry a believer. We are told in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” But “in the Lord” goes beyond marrying a Christian and includes the thought of marrying a believer who is walking with the Lord, in subjection to His Word and to His will. It is vital, if one is to remarry, to obey this command and to marry “in the Lord.” May you meditate upon these scriptures and allow the Lord to guide you into His will.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s