How to distinguish a friend from a foe and how to handle them

Friendship can be every powerful. Quality relationships can turn your life around. You cannot be friends with everybody. Friendship is never by force, but by choice. Friendship should never be predicated on sentiments, but on covenant. You don’t hold on to a friend that is killing you. You don’t allow your sentiments to swallow your spiritual intelligence.

There are people who hate your guts, you don’t empower them by your close proximity. You don’t surround yourselves with haters of destiny. You select your friends by the help of God. You see, no matter how gifted you are, if you surround yourself with critical, envious fellows, they will make you feel worthless. There are times you may have to work under an intimidated, envious boss, make you watch out for the javelins to dodge them when they are thrown at you. Never throw such back! David worked with a crazy boss, who went after his life, but it was all a path into his destiny.

How do you know a friend or a foe?

1. A friend tells you the truth. A foe tells you what you want to hear!

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (Proverbs 27:6 KJV)

One of the marks of friendship is that you will be told the truth, however it sounds. A friend, in his attempt to tell you the truth, often looks like the enemy, because such admonitions are not palatable to the flesh. On the other hand, an enemy or a foe who seems to be kissing you and loving you can actually be deceiving you!

That is why the scripture says favour can be deceitful.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)

It looks like he or she is doing you a favour, but it is to get something else. The nice guy who buys you things might soon ask for some Jericho trap!

When someone around you tells you what you want to hear all the time, you are really done for. Leaders should never make the mistake of surrounding themselves with “Yes men.” These men want their salaries to be regular and they want tips or some position, so they know how to manipulate the leader and tell him what he wants to hear all the time. If anybody seems to be truthful, that person is labeled as a ‘rebel’ and pushed out of that organization through series of manipulation, lies and deception. Invariably, the organization becomes a cabal, and will never outlive these sets of “Yes men!” At the end of the day, the organization is as strong as the “politicking.”

It is the same on individual level. You cannot surround yourself with people that tell you what you want to hear all the time. It is a dangerous way to live!

2. A friend starves your weaknesses but a foe feeds your weaknesses.

Everybody has some form of weaknesses. It is not a sin to have a weakness, but it is unwise to surround yourself with people that feed on your weaknesses. For example, you have a habit of drinking alcohol. The dumbest thing to do is to have drunkard friends. That is like shooting yourself in the leg, because your friends will eventually influence you. In fact, somebody said that the last three words in the word “friend” is “end” meaning a friend can determine your end. Surround yourself with people that help you work on your weaknesses to become a better person. One of the ways to do that is to be meek, teachable and not fight people that are trying to correct you.

Anytime she visits me, I fall into a sexual sin. She is not a friend!

Anytime he comes visiting me, he brings alcoholic drinks, and we get drunk. He is not a friend!

Oh, she is the one that taught me how to smoke! She is not a friend!

She introduced me to this man that gives me money who even promised to take me to Dubai. She is not a friend.

He convinced me that there is nothing wrong with sexual sins, and that even Pastors are doing it. He said God would keep on forgiving. He is not a friend.

He is my pastor and I trust him, He has the word even though he sleeps with me because his wife is not really there for him. He is not your Pastor, he is a destiny killer, a manipulator and an abuser!

What should you do with this kind of people?

Run, Run, Run, there is fire on the mountain!

To be continued tomorrow..

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I am able to distinguish true friends from wrong friends.

Open my eyes to see what I don’t know about people around me

On the other hand, don’t be gullible. Check out everything, and keep only what’s good. (1 Thessalonians 5:21 Message)

Make sure someone joins FOC today


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